i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
