Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
