Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
