I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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