She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Randomize
