Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize