Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize
