i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize