i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
you inspire me to be a worse person
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
