Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Randomize
