the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
