whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Randomize
