WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
