I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
