Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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