Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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