i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
