Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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