My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
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