Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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