i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
