Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
