she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
