Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
