so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I'm always down for nudity.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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