A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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