He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
