Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Well I just put wine in my tea
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
