how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
