When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
