Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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