So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
