nut hugger
I didn't shave. On purpose
my shit smells like andre
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
