So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
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