I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
