So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
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