Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
