it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Randomize
