I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
