i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
