I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize