that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
