Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
