it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
