They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
