Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Randomize
