So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
