Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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