Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
