Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
