Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
