He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
