Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
