Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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