So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
