Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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