someone threw a dead crab at me
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Randomize
