im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
