My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
