if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Randomize
