Do you still have your period?
Farmville is her only friend.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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