Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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