oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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