just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
